


the importance of using your words for once

by Meraus



Category: Teen Wolf (TV)
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, M/M, Miscommunication, Misunderstandings, Really its just 4k words of conflict resolution, Though I didn't even write a proper happy ending
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-09
Updated: 2020-01-09
Packaged: 2021-02-27 05:34:18
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,591
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22181878
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Meraus/pseuds/Meraus
Summary: Derek finds out he really needs to learn how to communicate, but he's not the only one who needed to be taught that lesson. They really could have gone about teaching it better, but, well...
Relationships: Derek Hale/Stiles Stilinski
Comments: 4
Kudos: 95





	the importance of using your words for once

**Author's Note:**

> I don't know how to argue without swearing. This becomes abundantly clear throughout the story. Also I'm not American so I took some liberties. And yes, he did move all the way across the country. I thought it was hilarious. Enjoy!

"It's not my fault you're insecure!"

That shut both of them up, two audible clicks as teeth met teeth. Both of them angry at the other, in disbelief of what was just said. Derek regrets saying it, he does, but he doesn't take it back. It's true, after all. Stiles swallows audibly, the whole scene a stark contrast to the incessant shouting match they were having just seconds ago. 

"Right, because it's my fault that you let everyone get close to you, touch you, even kiss you, huh? There's nothing to feel insecure over when you're grinding with some bombshell blonde, not thinking for a second how that would make me feel."

Stiles has a level voice, closer to a whisper than a shout, but it's positively seething nonetheless. His teeth grind as he speaks and he gives Derek a look of absolute betrayal.

"It's just dancing. You're the one always telling me I need to go out more! Stop being, and I quote, all growly alpha. All bite no bark. Your words, Stiles."

Derek retorts. He doesn't see the issue. He was feeling good just moments ago, abuzz with some werewolf approved alcoholic concoction Lydia manufactured, now he's fighting with his boyfriend of two years in a parking lot. 

"She kissed you."

Stiles accused.

"I stopped her."

Derek retorts.

"Only when you saw me."

And Derek didn't have another retort. Nothing that would be true, anyway. He'd forgotten- for a moment, right up until he saw Stiles- that he shouldn't be kissing anyone else. He blames the alcohol, but that's not a defense he's comfortable with and certainly not a defense that will appease Stiles in the slightest. 

"When my brain caught up and I realised it was wrong. I'm sorry. I should've stopped it sooner."

He admits. He truly is sorry, both for the kiss and for being responsible for that horrid expression he saw on Stiles when it happened. He couldn't realistically have picked up Stiles' scent from that distance, with that many people around them, but he would've sworn he did. It was sour and awful. 

Stiles is quiet for a moment, mulling something over. It scares Derek. Stiles almost never thinks about what he says, it's one of his annoying yet endearing qualities. Finally, he says,

"We should break up."

And Derek would say the floor was swooped out from under him, but he was dreading this exact outcome, would even say he expected it.

"Over this?"

He still tries. Tries to make Stiles see this is a minor offense; something they can move on from. Stiles, however, steadily keeps his gaze and nods.

"This, and everything else."

Derek knows what he means. Everything else stretched somewhere from constant bickering over small things like what does and doesn't belong in their grocery cart and bigger, all-encompassing things, like that Stiles doesnt believe Derek is in this for the long haul or how Derek isn't even sure they can keep doing this forever, either. Stiles laid his entire heart bare once, saying things like he liked the idea of settling down with a kid and a dog one day and Derek had said he didn't know he'd ever be ready for that and- well, that was it really. From that moment, things had gone slowly downhill with the realisation that they weren't at the same stage. Stiles would demand things Derek couldn't give and Derek would withold things Stiles couldn't be without. It was doomed to fail. Better to cut it off now, instead of dragging it out. So, Derek agrees.

"Maybe that's for the best."

He struggles to get it out, but when it does it sounds- It sounds wrong to his ears. Too sure, maybe. Too unbothered. Too much like he wanted that. Despite being something Stiles suggested, it's obviously not something he wants to hear.

"I can't fucking believe you, Derek."

He says, before turning away and storming off towards his jeep. Derek will run home, then. He supposes that's for the best. He can't quite believe himself either, nor Stiles. He can't believe this entire situation, really.

What he really can't fucking believe is that some time later, Stiles is gone from Beacon Hills. He hears from his dad it's something that's been long planned, just never shared with Derek. It's safe to say Derek's a lot more than just pissed off about it.

What he really, really finds astonishingly hard to fucking believe is that roughly five years later he has his own company, now hiring for starter positions, and Stiles' name is on the list of applicants.

"So, Massachusetts IT, huh?"

He asks, quietly proud of himself for not immediately throwing Stiles out on his ass. Five years of radio silence and now fucking this. Stiles walked in here like nothing was at all amiss, like they were strangers. Sat across from him with a polite smile, more mature now but so very much the same, fucking introduced himself even, handshake and all. Derek wants to throw him across the fucking room and demand- He doesn't know what, answers maybe, an apology, for him to hear everything Derek couldn't say because he ran off, anything other than these professional formalities.

"Yes, as you can see, I studied-"

"Cut the shit, Stiles."

Derek cuts him off, staring at him expectantly. He's still not sure what he wants to do, or what he wants Stiles to do, but he'd rather do anything else than have to sit through this and just- Just pretend. Apparently, like old times, Stiles wants the exact opposite. 

"I am. I'm in dire need of a job, and ridiculously overqualified for a position you're hiring for, making you a fool if you passed me. It's been five years. We can handle this like professionals. This is me, not bringing up any shit."

Derek nods curtly. Alright, if it's like that, he can deal. Stiles is right, he's ridiculously overqualified.

"Then, unfortunately it seems you'd be a much better fit for a position more closely related to your area of expertise-"

"What the fuck, man!"

"This is how I would professionally approach this. Now, maybe if we were old acquaintances, I'd give you a nepotism hire, but-"

Why did he say that? Derek knows what he wants now, he wants to bash his head against the desk and dissappear from reality. Or go back in time and not speak those words. Just keep it curt with one sentence replies, like he would with anyone else. Unsurprisingly, Stiles jumps at the opportunity Derek stupidly handed him.

"Fine. I know your fucking underwear preferences. We, by all means, are as closely acquainted as two people can get. Now hire me."

Derek sighs. A deep, chest rumbling, rubbing your hands over your face in a quiet prayer for patience, sigh. 

"If you couldn't tell by now, I'm really fucking desperate. I might even beg." 

Stiles adds when Derek turns his exhausted eyes back on him. Derek just stares. He kind of wants Stiles to beg, just a little. 

"Fact remains-" Derek starts, as Stiles just holds his gaze and doesn't seem inclined to start begging any time soon. "I, professionally, wouldn't hire you as it stands." He might've, if it were anyone else. But this isn't just anyone, and Derek knows what he's about to do is stupid and bad for him, really just a bad decision all around, and still before Stiles can start arguing again, Derek quickly continues. "I can, however, consider you for a different position. The drawback being that we'd be working much closer together than I'm sure either of us is interested in."

Derek doesnt know why he even offered that. All he can say to defend himself here is that he wants something from Stiles, and if Stiles walks out again today, he'll never get it. He waits for Stiles to refuse, but he only sees determination as he regards him. Stiles is chewing the inside of his cheek, sure, but it doesn't look like he's reluctant to agree at all.

"I'll take it."

And that's how Derek find himself with his runaway ex for a personal assistant and advisor. A right hand man, really. And isn't that just the kind of ironic travesty Stiles would've otherwise cracked up over. All that time he was trying to get Derek's left hand, only to end up with the right instead.

[ ]

"Get me a coffee."

He orders in Stiles' general direction, a week later, as his first words to his new employee. 

"Good morning to you, too." Stiles grumbles, but he still gets up and goes to the breakroom. 

Because Derek is actually a giant asshole, he waits until Stiles returns to tell him he'd like one from the coffee shop a few blocks over. And to be back in twenty, so he can get the briefs for a meeting later that afternoon to go over beforehand. Stiles obviously tries to murder him with a look and Derek couldn't be in a better mood because of it. He may be feeling slightly vindictive.

It appears Stiles is, too, seeing as half his cup is missing and it's Stiles' sickeningly sweet go-to order instead of Derek's usual.

"So you remembered my underwear preference but not my coffee order, huh?"

"You never had much interest in committing anyway, figured I'd introduce something better for you to get your mouth on." Ouch. Very much uncalled for. Yet, exactly what Derek expected and has been prodding for it by being such an ass right off the bat. 

"If you don't like it, I'll take it. You don't seem to have much issue with giving up on things, anyway." Double ouch and still uncalled for. Derek sighs and takes a sip, trying to hold back. He wants to snap back and say Stiles is the one who gave up, but he also wants to just be done with this part. He thought it would go like this, at first. Once they get through this stage, it'll be better. At least, he hopes it will. Wants it to be better, feel better about it. But for that, he needs to suffer through half a cup of sugar.

Stiles taunts him with a stupidly wide, disingenuous smile when Derek's face scrunches up in disgust. He supposes, for the coffee thing now and the kiss back then, he deserves the dig. But he's not lying down and taking it, so he takes another sip and tells Stiles to go fuck himself. Stiles rolls his eyes like some impetuous teenager and goes to grab his files. 

"This is a ridiculously thick folder. There's no way you need to know all of this for a simple introductory meeting." Stiles says as he haphazardly throws the stack on his desk.

"We're considering switching to a new system. I'd like to know all the facts beforehand." Derek argues for the sake of arguing, really. He also doesn't want to read all of that. He doesn't even think he needs to. Who compiled this and dared to call it a brief?

"What's wrong with the old system?"

Derek doesnt respond right away, which seemingly tells Stiles enough. 

"If there isn't an issue, then just have someone in programming add whatever you'd like to improve upon. It's probably more cost effective and less hassle with change."

"They're busy."

"They can work on it as low priority. It doesn't need to function by next week if the system is fine right now."

"We're changing since it's not fine right now. Get out of my office."

Despite disregarding Stiles' suggestion, Derek keeps it in the back of his mind, weighing it against every step he'd need to take to introduce the new system. He even stupidly goes out of his way to inquire about it with the programmer's floor manager. They assure him it can be done. Easily, she said, and that she could have a beta for him in two weeks. Derek says he'd like them to. Then, he makes a mental note to let the outside company know they're declining after all, because if he puts it in his to do list Stiles will see it and he must never know of it. 

He does all this knowing Stiles will probably, eventually, most likely sooner rather than later, find out anyway and gloat. But he might not, and Derek would really like that, so he makes an effort for it.

Unfortunately he can't make an effort to hide much else from him, considering its his job to know and keep track of Derek's activities. So every day is filled with _suggestions_ on how to do things more efficiently, because Stiles always knows better. Or thinks he does. And because they're both still bitter, every day these suggestions go accompanied by thinly veiled arguments that dredge up old wounds that Derek is then left to lick at and try to close up again. It's exhausting.

"This isn't healthy." He eventually says, like he's wanted to do for the past three weeks. It's 10 P.M. and the entire building is empty, and somehow that made it feel safe enough to bring it up. "Listen, dude, you may be able to function an entire day off one well-packed salad for lunch, but some of us _need_ high carb intake dinners like this pizza to get by."

He realises then that he brought it up out of left field. He's been thinking about it so much it just felt like it was constantly in the air, waiting and appropriate to be addressed at all times. Now, he's not so sure this is the right time. He's getting cold feet, and he thinks he should take the out Stiles unwittingly gave him, but-

"Derek, you're thinking so hard we're about to get a noise complaint from next door. Use your words."

There goes the out. Stiles has put down his dinner and actually sat up straighter, staring Derek down. 

"So, what exactly isn't healthy, then?" He knows. It's in the way his eyes are set, the same way they do right when he makes any snide remark about their past.

"I didn't even remember you used to tell me off for putting pots in the dishwasher before rinsing them. Yesterday, I threw a pot against the wall so hard it left a hole because I was rinsing it. Because I always rinse them now."

"You're mad I gave you good habits?"

"You know what I'm-"

"Yeah, yeah. Because I know _everything_ , right? This might come as a shock, Derek, but if you don't use your words and explain yourself then people are bound to misunderstand you. And hey, maybe we're constantly arguing about the past because of it. Maybe had you actually used your words more we could've resolved all of this way back when, but no. Instead, every time anything comes back up I'm still just so fucking angry over it."

And that really does just sum it up perfectly. They're both angry about it, they want to move on but neither is willing to just let it go. There's too much Derek still wants to say, that he still wants to know.

"Why did you never tell me about Massachusetts?"

Starting with why they couldn't do this earlier, when Derek was waiting for something to give in their stand-off and then noticed Stiles' scent had slightly faded around town. When he came to the Stillinski household only to find out Stiles had been gone for three days already and wasn't coming back for a long time.

"Cause I wasn't gonna fucking go, Derek. My best opportunity and there I was, throwing it away for some asshole who wasn't even planning on keeping me around. What about me was so awful that you didn't want me?"

"It wasn't about you." Derek's quick to say, because just hearing it said is feels disgusting and wrong.

"Sure, it wasn't. You picked out what you wanted for a career, congrats on that working out so well by the way, you bought a forever house with plans to add more rooms for the pack, you saw every fucking thing and everyone in your future except me. So, let me ask again, why wasn't I included?"

"You didn't need a room, you'd sleep in mine. I was going to start a company that you'd be able to work in, if you wanted. I didn't make plans exclusively for you because you always fit into my plans for me, somehow." And that's why it hurt so much when it turned out their individual plans didn't match up.

"No. No that's not right. You said you didn't want a family with me."

"I didn't want a family." Derek agrees, he's not sure he does now, either. He might, now that he's in a better place, but not by himself.

"See!"

"I didn't want a kid, Stiles. I didn't want any fucking pets. Just you." For a second, it's silent. Derek dreads that silence. It just leaves him to stew in the grandure of what he just admitted. He feels like by admitting his feelings he lost a game of chicken, somehow.

"But I thought- ugh! Jesus, Derek! It was just a settling down fantasy setting." Derek's brain shorts out. He wishes he could get that awful second of silence back. Just a fantasy? How is it just a fantasy when every time something like it came up and Derek denied wanting it too, Stiles would treat him as if he'd said they shouldn't get kids because Stiles would make a bad father. "All this time you let me believe you didn't want me forever," All he'd tell him was no and suddenly he'd get some snide remark and then the silent treatment. Stiles wouldn't make a bad father, Derek would. He was just trying to avoid that. "When the kids and the pets were the issue!? Fuck you!"

"No, fuck you for constantly making me feel bad about that! You were always demanding for things from me, always to go out and do things I couldn't do!"

They're both shouting now and somehow it feels right. It feels like a long time coming. Now, because they're both at the tipping point, whatever is said is 'in the heat of the moment', and that is something defendable later on, when that moment is gone. 

"I was asking you, asshole! I wanted to know what you wanted, and then we could compromise somewhere in the middle. That's how relationships are supposed to be! But instead, you would either just do whatever I said and be pissy about it the whole way through or not do it at all! And then be so fucking adament about not wanting to, not even wanting to discuss it! It's always fucking yes or no with you! There's a whole scope of answers inside and out of that, you jackass! Even when we broke up you just- you just fucking said yeah, ok, whatever."

He didn't want to say that! He thought it'd be better if their house of cards collapsed then, and they could build it back up again later, stronger that time around. But they never could, because-

"And then you left! To a whole other fucking state! You're berating me for not talking things through but it's not like you said any of this either! How the hell was I supposed to know when you always just grind your teeth, say some petty shit, and then turn your back when what I do isn't to your liking!? How, from that, was I supposed to gather that there would be some in-between option you'd be okay with!?"

"I don't fucking know, maybe because it's common knowledge!? But I guess you're too fucking socially stunted!"

Derek is fucking seething with rage at this point. So what if he was socially stunted!? Stiles himself, at one point, told him that's to be expected with everything he's been through. It's a moot point to bring up that he's better, now. That he's grown and he's different and he'd know how to do it all better now. It's no use saying all of that, even if he wants to, so he doesn't. 

"You knew I didn't know shit about how healthy relationships work."

Even though he didn't shout it, this is the one thing that really seems to pierce through something inside Stiles. His eyes grow wide and unbelieving and he stands there right in front of Derek, who's at his boiling point, and laughs mockingly.

"And there it is again, you thinking I know everything. I don't, Derek. I'm not fucking omniscient!" He huffaws, but then he's back to glaring at Derek. "In fact, I didn't know any of the shit you just told me so you don't get to hold that against me! You should've just fucking said something."

"You're the one who should've said something." Derek fires back, because he should have. They both should have. It dredges up an old memory of his mom berating him and Laura when she'd caught the tail end of them fighting. They'd try to explain to her why it was the other one's fault and she'd say, 'When both are arguing, both are at fault'. Right now, he really feels that sentiment.

"Fuck me, what even is this situation we're in right now." Stiles sighs. He runs his hand through his hair and grips the back of his neck, regarding Derek with those eyes again. They look tired now. Derek feels that sentiment, too. It's been tiring, but now that it's all said and done he feels exhausted.

"The closure part of all of this." He says, his shoulder becoming a little looser, his entire body feeling less strung up.

"Oh-ho look who suddenly knows about the workings of relationships." Stiles digs, this time his smile is cautious but genuine.

"It's been five years, I picked some things up here and there." It's been five years to get to this point. That's what's really fucking unbelievable. Five years of this hanging over his head, pulling him down by the shoulders, and he's feeling lighter by just a few minutes of talking.

"What, you started dating around again? Picked up another woman to show you the ins and outs?"

"No, asshole. I-" Derek bites his tongue and then bites harder for doing so in the first place. They're talking now, this is what he wanted. This is the next stage. He can't hold back now. "I went to therapy. Therapist had a fucking field day with me."

"I'd imagine. Poor unfortunate soul."

"Me, or the therapist?" Derek jokes, because he can do that now, he thinks. Has to, because otherwise they'll revert back.

"Both, really."

"Stiles-" Derek begins right as Stiles says, "Derek-"

Stiles folds his arms, a mimick of Derek's position, closes his eyes for a moment and sighs. "You're right, this isn't healthy. Maybe we should call this off. I'm sure there's someplace else I could work."

Don't you fucking dare, Derek wants to say. Hell, he wants to start screaming again. It's like a fucking dejavu, Stiles breaking it off and Derek- Derek wants to say yes. Even though he doesn't want to lose Stiles, his brain is telling him it's best to agree.

"Maybe you could try another state again." He sneers. He doesn't mean to, but it comes out regardless. Stiles looks as betrayed and taken aback as Derek feels about it.

"This isn't like that." He huffs, his shoulders drawing tighter again, eyes going a little colder again. 

"This is exactly like that." He could've not said that, could blissfully remain in this good part they've worked so hard towards, but what's the point? History, Derek knows, just _loves_ to repeat itself, but this time he won't let it. "You tell me it's better if we go our seperate ways and I agree because it makes sense that it's better to find someone who it's never so complicated with. But the kicker is that's it's not better. It'd become complicated with anyone, if I'd feel this way about them."

"Then next time hire someone you don't wanna fuck." Stiles seems to miss those few moments in the good part, too, it seems. That jab was an out, but Derek doesn't take it.

"I don't just want to fuck you, Stiles. I'm in love with you. Even after all of this, after all this time, it's you." He confesses. It's dark outside, everyone's gone home and here they are, in an empty building, and Derek just laid his cards down on the table for Stiles to see. 

"Don't do that to me, Derek."

"You know, I omitted something just now. I did actually date a few people. I thought I was cursed somehow, since it always ended the same. We'd break up because I didn't want them, I couldn't see myself have a future with them. I wanted you, wanted to have what we had again." He's known that for a while, had a long conversation about it with his therapist, had been told that wasn't good for him, and still. 

"I always went after your complete opposites, cause I didn't want that again." Stiles says. Derek goes cold all over, thinking that's it, then. He's going to have to live with that and work through it.  
"I just didn't want to get hurt like that again, so I thought, if I just don't feel what I felt for you then that won't happen. This is so fucking sappy but-" Stiles groans and grits his teeth. He doesn't look at Derek when he says, "It never worked out cause that meant I was actively avoiding love."

"So we love each other." Derek summarises, just to confirm it. He needs it confirmed. Needs Stiles to say it properly, too.

"Seems so." Stiles' blush reaches his ears and Derek's heart is doing fucking loop-de-loops in his chest. It'd be so easy to just reach out and turn Stiles' face back towards him, so easy to step in closer.

"Do you want to do this again?" He asks, before he does all of that. Because this time he knows how to do it right.

"No. Or- yes. I just- this is too much, Derek. This is way too much, right? I'm emotionally exhausted, I don't know how to feel. Do you?"

"Yes. I just told you, I want you." Stiles just groans again, both hands in his hair now.

"How the tables have turned." Stiles laments, still trying to joke his way back to the good part. Derek lets him this time, but not before dragging it out and making Stiles squirm a bit. 

"Wanted you back then, too."

"Shut up, I heard you loud and clear when you yelled that and inch from my face."

"Thought I'd use my words this time."

"The volume, Derek. The volume was the issue. My ears are still ringing, I think."

The air is light again, the weight of everything hanging over them has been lifted and Derek laughs at Stiles' dramatics. He reaches out and puts a hand on Stiles' neck, Derek's thumb lightly stroking by his ear. Stiles looks like a deer caught in the headlights, but Derek can't stop smiling right now. He's sure he looks stupidly blissful, sure that Stiles can see it on his face. 

"I didn't mean to hurt you." He says, because he shouldn't leave it unsaid.

**Author's Note:**

> Anyway, turns out, big shocker, Stiles does want to do this again, this time they get it right, and they live happily ever after. Sometimes the timing is just off, or people need to work on themselves more before they can make it work with others. HC that they even discuss baby names this time around, but as for if they adopt, who knows? Certainly not me. 
> 
> In the last few hours I wrote out all the stress I've been feeling the past couple of days with this drabble I had in my phone notes for, like, decades. Never committed to writing it because I personally consider this angst annd I'm really not a fan of intense negative emotion, and now I can finally delete that note and lower my stress level at the same time lol.
> 
> Hope y'all enjoyed reading and also get your happily ever after, in whatever form it may come! ✌


End file.
